“I want it and it hurts” – this one phrase can briefly describe people with an avoidant type of attachment. They desperately crave intimacy and trusting relationships, but internal barriers do not allow them either, which fits perfectly into the plots of a variety of genres.
It is not surprising that such characters are often found in films and TV series – their emotional characteristics create additional tension and make the love story more dramatic and dynamic.
Together with the online cinema Kinopoisk, they brought together seven movie characters fleeing from love for various reasons.
Maggie Carpenter (Runaway Bride)
The girl who ran away from the aisle not once, but four times. The thing is, Maggie doesn’t know what she wants. More precisely, she doesn’t know herself. Every time in a new relationship, she flexibly adapts to the new man, forgetting about her individuality. The girl is thoroughly confused: not only does she not understand her own feelings for her new groom, she is also pressured by the expectations of her family and the public. Her constant “avoidance” of a new, more serious stage in the relationship is connected with the demands of the environment and confusion in her head.
This is also evident at the moment when the heroine meets the New York journalist Ike, who seems destined to become the one who will dispel Maggie’s doubts. But the girl, without breaking her own tradition, runs away from him. She breaks the heart of a man in love, but he so hoped that this time everything would be different.
The runaway bride is a kind of standard for the avoidant type of attachment. This image migrated to cinema from psychology, where the “runaway bride phenomenon” exists. It characterizes fear of a serious relationship, self-doubt and compliance with other people’s opinions.
Igor Grom (“Major Grom: Plague Doctor”)
Igor Grom is an unapologetic and purposeful crime fighter with strong principles. Charismatic, honest – he seems to be the man of your dreams. But the policeman is so passionate about what he loves that he often plunges headlong into his work, neglecting his own comfort and refusing the help of colleagues and loved ones, and this is quite a red flag.
Igor likes to do everything on his own – he even isolates his colleague from any dangerous situations and investigations, including the Plague Doctor case. It’s just that the taciturn Thunder is so accustomed to loneliness that it’s easier for him to quarrel with a person than to accept someone’s help, even in work processes. In the film, by the way, he himself admits that he does not trust people and is comfortable being alone.
Igor’s avoidance of intimacy also manifests itself in his relationship with Yulia Pchelkina, whom the policeman initially perceived as a rival. Subsequently, their relationship developed into a romantic one, but Igor found it extremely difficult to express emotions and trust the inventive journalist.
As a rule, it is quite difficult for people with an avoidant attachment type to overcome themselves. And if they did manage to start a relationship, it is possible that they will soon endow their partner with a rather high wall of coldness and detachment. You can already watch the development of Thunder’s love affairs – the new film “Major Thunder: The Game” was released on May 23, 2024.
Fiona Gallagher (Shameless)
Fiona has a difficult life – she has to take care of her younger brothers and sister in a poor area of Chicago. The mother left the family long ago, and the father is a heavy drunkard who cannot be trusted with raising five children. For this reason, Fiona became for the younger Gallaghers something much more than an older sister, because from childhood she was burdened with a responsibility that was unbearable for a girl growing up without parental support.
Fiona has suffered betrayal from those closest to her, making it extremely difficult for the girl to trust strangers. The relationships that Gallagher develops with men are not long-term for various reasons – problems in the family, failures at work, or excessive control from a girl who is used to being a “mother” to everyone around her.
In addition, partners often turn out to be unreliable people with criminal records, which repeats the patterns that have developed in the Gallagher family. Fiona avoids serious relationships, because she is afraid to relive the pain of betrayal, afraid for her already broken heart. And combining personal life with family matters and several low-paying jobs seems to be an impossible task for a young girl who would rather run away from love than add a new “responsibilities” to her schedule.
Tony Stark (Iron Man)
A genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist and simply a workaholic who, in the heat of work, pushes relationships and loved ones into the background. His relationship with Pepper Potts was always hampered by circumstances. At first, the girl worked as Tony’s assistant, and Stark did not allow himself to start a relationship with a subordinate. He left her alone on the balcony after a romantic dance, forgetting about Pepper due to sudden problems at work, and also convinced her that their love was dangerous, trying to protect her from the risks of a superhero life. Subsequently, Iron Man pushes Pepper away for a different reason – because of the reactor that replaces the businessman’s heart, he is convinced that he is dying.
Although Stark’s intentions were good, his attempts to protect the lady of his iron heart turned into an alarming carousel of frequent separations and worries. However, the life of a superhero makes its own adjustments, and it is special conditions that fill life with danger and uncertainty.
Elia Codogno (The Taming of the Shrew)
The hot-tempered Italian Elia regards loneliness not as a disadvantage, but as an advantage. While people around are trying to convince a man that it’s time for him to get married, Codogno is sure that the relationship is an unprofitable and completely useless agreement. Elia behaves unceremoniously with women, and love is uninteresting and alien to him. When Lisa appears on the threshold of Codogno’s house, nothing changes in the Italian farmer’s behavior – the girl’s attempts to seduce the cold Elia turn into an absolute lack of attention on his part.
For most of the film, the man zealously tries to get rid of the stranger and sends her out of the house, demonstrating complete disinterest in Lisa’s personality and external merits. Later, he will change his anger to mercy and accept the girl – the only one who managed to get close to him. This movie had a good ending, but in life, rudeness and trust issues rarely lead to healthy and comfortable relationships. A person like Codogno always wants to distance himself, because loneliness is his comfort zone, and his only love is work.
Samantha Jones (Sex and the City)
Samantha can be called that “strong and independent” woman who knows what she wants. A self-sufficient businesswoman, owner of a PR agency, she has no hesitation in demonstrating her sexuality, audacity and independence.
Samantha is used to not denying herself anything, and also not getting hung up on anything – she changes both outfits and men without regret. Jones is a hedonist who enjoys enjoying life in all its forms, be it fashion or a good meal. Some people think that the actions of a successful PR woman are selfish, but upon closer examination it becomes clear that not everything is so simple.
Jones does not run after men, but on the contrary, he runs away from them. Samantha’s numerous relationships end exactly at the moment when a close rapprochement occurs. A woman does not allow partners to approach her, defends personal boundaries and does not tolerate excessive emotional investments. Behind the image of a cold, persistent and self-respecting girl is a person who is afraid of being rejected. In fact, Samantha suffers from loneliness, because besides her friends there is no one who would be ready to help and support Jones. Hoping to avoid betrayal and rejection, a woman chooses a strategy of minimal intimacy. After all, if no one is around, then there is no one to break your heart.
Hardin Scott (“After”)
Hardin is your typical bad boy and rebel, winning the hearts of girls without worrying about any consequences. In his relationship with Tessa Young, the traits of an avoidant type are very clearly manifested, seemingly incapable of a healthy and long-term relationship.
Scott seems like a guy with no empathy who only thinks about himself. At first glance, he is not interested in Tessa, and he shows only complete indifference to her person. When discussing Pride and Prejudice, Hardin refers to love as “merely a transaction” and a “program,” demonstrating his skepticism of romantic feelings. In addition, Scott often tries to get Tessa emotional, and when he gets a reaction from the girl, he instantly pulls away.
An indifferent rebel is afraid to open up to people and associates feelings with weakness and vulnerability, which cannot be shown to others. Hardin has a hard time trusting others, so it’s hard to get close, and his vacillation in trying to understand his emotions only strengthens his desire to avoid relationships – a real cactus, which, according to the laws of the genre, only the empathetic Tessa could find an approach to.